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Answers Aren’t Enough

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of our grandson Ryan’s death. Grief remains a frequent companion and unanswered questions still echo in our hearts. Why? is the anthem of the grief stricken.

My old friend MIchael Spencer wrote in response to an assertion of a well known pastor that “..sooner or later people want more than empathy and aid—they want answers.” MIchael says “That is just plain incorrect.”

People ultimately want love, not answers. Answers are not the capstone; love is. Most can do without specific explanations. No one can do without love. Even when sufferers cry out, “Why?” they are not asking for answers. They are expressing pain and hoping someone is there to hear their cries. Above all, they want to know they are not alone, not abandoned, not rejected. They want love. They want the presence of someone who cares. They want reassurance that someone is there to embrace them, listen to them, hold their hand, be their friend.

I deeply affirm Michael’s rebuttal. The grieving do not want Job’s friends. Answers aren’t enough. I am thankful for all the love that has, and continues to be, showered on our family.

4 Comments

  1. Susan

    So much is simply unanswerable, especially in the death of a young person. We are holding you and Ann close in our thoughts and prayers today.

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