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“You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart — your stories, visions, memories, visions and songs. Your truth, your version of things, your own voice. That is really all you have to offer us. And that’s also why you were born.”
Anne Lamott

“You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart — your stories, visions, memories, visions and songs. Your truth, your version of things, your own voice. That is really all you have to offer us. And that’s also why you were born.”
Anne Lamott

Category: Things this old man thinks about

Things This Old Man Thinks About

George 3 Comments

Hands and feet

I regularly hear compliments about how I don’t look like I’m 79, or, as I say, almost 80. Looking in the mirror at just the right angle and light, I say, “Hmm, not too bad.”
Then I look at my hands… any illusions of looking younger than my age suddenly disappear. Gloves aren’t very fashionable so I guess I’ll just keep my hands in my pockets.

Hands are a dead give away of age but nothing like feet. I’ve never gotten a “Your feet certainly don’t look like you are almost 80.” compliment. People who politely invite me to remove my shoes when entering their home have no idea what they are asking of me. I’d rather take my shirt off and show my stomach surgery scar than expose my feet. I have sent pictures of my feet to my children to use for identification in case I die in an accident and the only thing left is a foot. People thought shoes were intended to protect feet until they saw my feet and realized my shoes were for their protection.
My feet would be an elephant in the room. “Gross” is a description I often hear. Just imagine me sitting in our church Life Group barefoot, and someone prays “lord, help us be the hands and feet of Jesus” and there is chorus of “Amens”

Wanting to be the hands and feet Jesus has a special meaning for me. Praying for a miracle.

Something this old man thinks about.

Still on the Journey .
(hands in my pockets and shoes on my feet)

Things this Old Man thinks About

George 0 Comments

From an old man’s perspective, things that are ordinary and unremarkable, often become an occasion to contemplate and speculate. I had such an experience recently in my appointment with my opthalmologist.

When you have diabetes, your vision is vulnerable to its effects and so regular check ups are necessary. I was pleased with my report, no indications of deterioration . There is one troubling issue unrelated to diabetes but common in older persons… sagging skin, in my case my eyelids (not my only sagging skin problem but the one effecting my vision)

It is pretty obvious that my vision is impeded by the sagging eyelid. I notice it particularly when I am reading and it gets worse as the day goes on. Older readers will understand how skin sags more as the day goes on. (I only look in the mirror naked early mornings.) This is not a new problem but it is getting worse. There is a surgical solution for my condition. The doctor and I have discussed this before and it it’s a matter of deciding if and when to have the procedure. No problem.

As we discussed the procedure and the condition, she says, “It is really nothing more than excess skin.”
At that point my old man brain kicks in and I say, “So, it’s kind of like circumcision?”
Doctor chuckles, “Well I’ve never heard it described that way.”
To which, I reply, “Looks like I am coming full circle, 78 years later.”
Realizing the conversation is running off the rails, my old man brain turns to alternative solutions to the surgical procedure.
“Maybe you could just suture my eyelid to the my brow?”
“That would be risky, not any flexibility.”
Undaunted I suggest, “How about an eyebrow ring? That would work and it would be a great conversation piece.”
Doctor is losing interest and has patients waiting, but I persist.
“So what about tape?”
Dr, “yes that could probably help but it might be inconvenient.”
I am thinking, “Yeah, better than circumcision.”

As you can see the tape isn’t all that effective and it doesn’t have the gravitas of an eyebrow ring. Apparently there is circumcision for me in the near future..ok, it is blepharoplasty, not circumcision but…

So later I’m sharing this story with a friend, Alter making my case for the procedure being a circumcision, He muses for a few moments and asks, “So, would that make you a dickhead?”

Still on the journey.

Trees in Winter

George 0 Comments

Reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott offers great opportunity to enjoy her wit and wisdom as she writes about life and writing. I found her reflection on visiting a nursing home particularly poignant.

TREES IN WINTER

..the moment I walk in and smell those old people again, and find them parked in the hallways like so many cars abandoned by the side of the road, I start begging God not to let me end up like this. But God is not a short-order cook, and these people were once my age. I bet they used to beg God not to let them end up as they have.

…I struggled to find meaning in their bleak existence. What finally helped was an image from a medieval monk, Brother Lawrence, who saw all of us as trees in winter, with little to give, stripped of leaves and color and growth, whom God loves unconditionally anyway. My priest friend Margaret, who works with the aged and who shared this image with me, wanted me to see that even though these old people are no longer useful in any traditional meaning of the word, they are there to be loved unconditionally, like trees in the winter.

Dying people can teach us this most directly. Often the attributes that define them drop away—the hair, the shape, the skills, the cleverness. And then it turns out that the packaging is not who that person has really been all along. Without the package, another sort of beauty shines through.

I found “another sort of beauty” when I met this lovely 102 year old lady some years ago.