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Please Understand Me

This post continues to delve into the subject of empathy. Hopefully you have read my previous post and the references cited in it. My encounter with empathy revealed a continuum of perspectives ranging from —Empathy is a Sin to Empathy is the #1 Virtue. —As indicated in my post, my bias is to the latter perspective. However, as I reflected on the course of my spiritual journey I was surprised by scope perspectives on empathy that have prevailed at various stages of my journey and, more concerning, their latent presence in my current thinking.

Although unrecognized at the time, an early and significant encounter with empathy as a negative factor came via my career in management at Ford a motor Company. One of the first principles of managing subordinates was do not develop personal relationships with your employees. Doing so would impede your ability to make hard decisions necessary to manage our employees. Underneath that principle was Ford Motor Company’s fundamental commitment to Scientific Management. Scientific Management is beyond the scope of this post but its impact on Ford Motor Company and American industry and society in general is profound. The way in which it shaped Ford management philosophy is illustrated by a couple of my experiences. One mentor made it clear “you must always keep your foot on their (employees) neck, otherwise they will get up and kill you.” Another manager, in meetings when someone whined or suggested a need for sympathy, would angrily declare: Do you know here sympathy comes in the dictionary?? Met with stunned silence he would remind his minions, “Right between sh*t and syphilis.” Sympathy, not to even mention empathy, had no place in X management . Reading X management assumptions about workers, empathy is unnecessary, in fact, it is detrimental to effective management.

The history of Ford Motor Company and US automotive industry documents the ultimate failure of scientific management. Which brings us to “Please Understand Me”, my introduction to empathy as a Ford management employee. Please Understand Me presented the Myers-Briggs personality index as a tool whereby mangers could better understand (empathize with ) their employees and mange them more effectively. It was an important step towards Y management theory, Ford Motor Company’s adopted management philosophy replacing X management. Empathy became essential to successful management. Because of contrasting X & Y Management assumptions, the organizational upheaval was visceral and traumatic but should not have come as a surprise. Within the confines of our local facility ‘, that conflict, in retrospect, was a microcosm of the ideological divisions in our society today. Resistance was fierce. Ironically, corporate management, responded with classic X management tactics, firing or demoting dissenters.

Another encounter with empathy as a negative factor came in the course of my role as an elder in our congregation. What was not obvious to me at that time but is very clear as I look back, was the embracing of X management assumptions as legitimate for leading as an elder. Of course, as an elder, I was much nicer X manager. I was able to manage in a Christian way. Masking inappropriate decisions and/or actions with “Speaking truth in love.” or “Scripture says…”. Consistent with X management, the means were always justified by the goal— “Doing God’s will— et al ______ (you can fill in the blanks.) . Seeing congregants through X management lens produced similar results to Ford Motor Company. People were dehumanized, made commodities in church business. Distrust and adversarial relationship between the elders and congregants increased. Despite Biblical mandates, empathy was dangerous, carrying a risk of polluting the fellowship by being perceived as embracing evil, or worse, promoting it. Sadly, elders became wary of the risk of getting too close to members, putting their ability to make hard decisions at risk.

I believe the core issue for rejecting empathy lies with assumptions we hold about other people. To the extent we find ourselves resisting empathy, or more likely sympathy, we should be prompted to evaluate our assumptions about our fellow human beings, and once identified, subjected to the Light.
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.
1 John 1:5 – NIV

The “snapshots” above are intended to provide a backdrop to engage the idea that “Empathy is a Sin”. Hopefully they can help us understand, those who espouse what, to me, is such a repugnant idea.
If you are thinking, “if it so repugnant, why does it matter that you understand them, it won’t change what you think?” You are getting to the heart of the issue.
Why does it matter that I understand someone who differs with me?

Next, Empathy the #1 virtue?

Still on the Journey

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