Death and Dying – Update

• The first post on Death and Dying was written in April 2023. The subjects below set a framework for succeeding posts:
• Why it’s important talk about death and dying?
• Why are evangelical Christians mostly silent about death and dying .
• What does it mean to die well?
• Developing a plan to die well.
• ars moriendi – art of dying
• Community’s role in death and dying
• Medicalized death
• Euthanasia A Theology of Death

There are nineteen posts thus far in the Death and Dying category, of which ten are related to Dying Well.
The most recent post was Jan 16, 2025. Most of the subjects above have been addressed in some way; none as comprehensively as warranted. Hopefully readers have been stimulated to deeper thinking and conversations.
After a three month pause in posts, this post resumes beginning with a brief summary from Death and Dying posts. An opportunity to refresh and mentally reset in anticipation of additional posts.

CONVERSATIONS

In a perfect world, our final days —end of life — would be laced with “…years of conversation about the need to prepare well for death – medically, communally, and spiritually.”¹ Gary Rodin

Engaging death and dying as confirmed that meaningful conversations about death and dying are difficult and rarely occur. They are essential to keeping us aware of our mortality, it is important to initiate and welcome them. Having conversations about death and dying are a swimming up stream exercise and will always be resisted/avoided whenever possible. Resistance can be lessened when conversations are seasoned with empathy and compassion while acknowledging the reality of our mortality.

“it all begins with me. The first thing that degenerates during a Crucial Conversation is not your behavior; it’s your motive. And we can rarely see it happening. The first step to dialogue is to get your heart right.”² — Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, et al.

I’ve got a lot of work to do.

FACING DEATH

We modern people rarely face death in our day-to-day lives. Consequently, we rarely give death any thought at all. In fact, if we do take time to contemplate death, others might think that we have a morbid or depressive temperament. So it’s not just that we don’t think of death, it’s that we shouldn’t think of death. Because as a day-to-day reality, it largely has been. This is why speaking of death is generally avoided, why death is pornographic. Pausing to note death’s existence destroys the illusion of immortality, making it feel as though death has been banished from our lives.. Rather than face the reality of death—which takes some effort in our society, given how death has been delayed—it’s easier to indulge the collective illusion of a deathless society. _{³ Beck, Richard. The Slavery of Death}

Despite our efforts to avoid death, whether by choice or circumstance, all of us will come face to face with death. I am convinced the most tragic circumstance would be when taking our last breath; having lived a life under an illusion of immortality.
On the other hand, I’m reluctant to suggest facing death should come as soon a possible. “It’s an open question whether a full and unaverted look at death crushes the human psyche or liberates it.”
The ability … to live with awareness of dying, and at the same time balance it against staying engaged in life…being able to hold that duality—which we call double awareness— is a fundamental task.”
For Christians, avoidance of death is blasphemous, an implicit endorsement of Satan’s lie, “You will not certainly die.”. For humanist it is a foolhardy disregard for reality. In both cases … a full and unaverted look at death can crush the human psyche… Whether death’s reality crushes or liberates is answered in Jesus Christ. …  “Death has been swallowed up in victory…thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”⁴ 1 Cor.15
“For me to live is Christ and to die is gain” . ⁵ Philippians 1:21

When avoidance of death prevails, Christians and humanist are like-minded.
If you insist on ignoring your own demise, you are likely to make decisions that cause you to sleepwalk through life. You may not be dead yet, but you’re not fully alive either. ⁶ .https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/05/death-memento-mori-happiness/674158/

Dying Well

The afternoon of human life must also have a significance of its own and cannot be merely a pitiful appendage to life’s morning. ⁷ Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist (1875-1961)

Grappling with death and dying revealed a need to develop a dying well plan. Several posts were written about that process. One of the first challenges was to define dying well. The initial definition was: “Dying well is putting our dying to use for our sanctification and the welfare of those we leave behind.”. It has not been discarded, but has been condensed into: “Dying well is meeting death fully human.“ I expect further iterations.

Life is learning to die in order to be born again. The creature participates in using their death to become a human being. To be clear, this isn’t a stoical acceptance of death as the cessation and end of life, a materialistic, nihilistic vision of “dying well.” We are describing death as birth-pangs, as moving toward mystical union with God. Again, death is being used as a tool. The soul is perfected and purified as it moves through this world of contingency, full of suffering and tribulation. The soul experiences this life as a birthing, as labor pains in a process of sanctification. We die to arrive as human beings.⁸ _{Richard Beck}

“The art of dying well starts with the art of living well.”³ Consensus about dying well is that living well is prerequisite to dying well, making it a life-long endeavor. Realistically, though not exclusively, the context and content of dying well is centered in what Richard Rohr describes as the Second Half of life.
The first half is for building our identity, who we hope to become in the world and in this life; the second half is a reckoning with letting go, turning inward, contemplation, mystery, and no longer living life on our terms, but in service to life itself. 
Shaped by the second half of life, Dying Well is:
… a time to discover the meaning of life 
… a time to let go of the ego and find a deeper sense of self 
…a time to live in the present moment without tension or judgment Last dying well post
…a time to find a deeper purpose for life 
…a time to find a more spacious, vibrant sense of self 

Dying Well is a spiritual discipline; for Christians sanctifying, for humanists a passage to faith.

Upcoming posts

• Provisions for dying well.
• What does it mean to be fully human ?

STILL ON THE JOURNEY

• 1
  Gary Rodin
• 2
  — Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, et al.
• 3
  _{Beck, Richard. The Slavery of Death}
• 4
  1 Cor.15
• 5
  Philippians 1:21
• 6
  .https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/05/death-memento-mori-happiness/674158/
• 7
  Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist (1875-1961)
• 8
  _{Richard Beck}