For the Joy of the Journey

You can read two previous posts on Hindsight is 20/20 HERE and HERE

Valuing hindsight stems rightly from an appreciation that if we can identify what would have either prevented or made us better prepared to weather prior events, we can better prepare for future events.

https://strategictreasurer.com/hindsight-is-not-20-20/

An Atlantic Daily article entitled “The Age of Endless Parenting” was a catalyst for hindsight on our parenting experience. Reading the article is a helpful prerequisite to this post.

In a Pew Research Center survey conducted last year, more than 70 percent of respondents with children ages 18 to 34 said they talk with their kids on the phone at least a few times a week, and nearly 60 percent had helped their kids financially in the past year. A majority of adult children polled said they turn to their parents for career, money, and health advice. And a 2023 Harris poll found that about 45 percent of young adults ages 18 to 29 reported living with their parents—making it the most common living arrangement for that age group for the first time since just after the Great Depression.
_{“The Age of Endless Parenting”}

Hindsight

A father, my understanding about raising children came from my parents and other families examples. There was good instruction, including Biblical teachings. However, the unquestioned end goal of parenting was raising an independent child and setting them off into the world. Although Ann and I parented differently than our parents, we had the same goal. In was as natural as the mother bird nudging her fledglings out of the nest. We never considered the possibility any other option.

In our church community, a few parents had other ideas about parenting. It seemed their end goal for parenting was to keep their children as close as possible, as long as possible. Everything revolved around their children to the extent of preempting church obligations and outside adult interaction. Their enmeshed families were judged unhealthy and likely un-christian. I remember being severely critical of them.

Insight

Sixty plus years later, reading the referenced article, it reminded me of how important it is to continually re-examine our beliefs, particularly when they are the basis for judging others. “The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people..” ¹ Luke 18
Our parenting goal was not wrong, is it good for children to be independent. Neither is it wrong for children to have deep, lasting relationship with parents. When those goals become mutually exclusive, it is problematic.

I am proud of our five children, independent, with their own families. They have demonstrated wisdom to understand the importance of independence and deep relationship. Ironically, I believe it was the example of our friends’ enmeshed families that planted a seed for better parenting. Maybe it does take a village to raise a child …

Hindsight is 20/20

Still on the Journey

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  Luke 18