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Month: July 2011

The Promised Land

I was told that Abilene (actually Abilene Christian University) is the promised land. Hagee apparently also received the memo.

I heard years ago that someone should tear Abilene down and start over. I guess it is time.

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Hagee to Build Life-Size “Promised Land” in Texas
San Antonio, TX. A megachurch minister has announced plans to bring Israel to Texas. All of it.

Pastor John Hagee, senior pastor at the non-denominational Cornerstone Church in San Antonio, is also the president of Christians United for Israel, which claims to be the largest pro-Israel group in the United States.

Hagee says he had a “vision from God” calling him to communicate the urgency of supporting Israel by the most visible means possible. So he plans to reproduce the land of Israel in its entirety in west central Texas. “It was my ‘Field of Dreams’ moment,” Hagee said.

“Just imagine!” Hagee said with his typical enthusiasm. “The city of Jerusalem, the Dead Sea, the Jordan River, the Sea of Galilee, Bethlehem, Nazareth, Galilee—we’re going to build it all so that people can come and see—and not just hear—why it is so important to save the Promised Land for the nation of Israel, God’s chosen people.”

Throughout the Land there will be exhibits and attractions portraying the events of Bible history and prophecy. “Wait until you see what we have planned for the Valley of Megiddo!” Hagee said with a twinkle in his eye.

“The Promised Land” will be a fully functioning nation where people live and work and have their own government. Hagee may already have a constituency for populating this new Israel, for Texas has an active and vocal secessionist movement.

Hagee’s plan will involve relocating the entire population of Abilene and the demolition of the city. The project will also swallow up towns over nearly 8000 square miles in the region. Hagee doesn’t think this will be a problem. “God will open the hearts of people to accept this project. There’s room in Texas for many Israels! I think folks will gladly move or sign on to become citizens there, and if not, we are working with our friends at the statehouse to enact legislation requiring them to choose. We have strip of land to the west that we plan to set aside as a walled city where those who refuse to leave will be sent.”

Even now, folks from Hagee’s church are volunteering as “settlers” to move into select areas around Abilene and claim the land for “Israel.”

“Texas is the perfect place for this,” Hagee said. “Texans think big and we like to do things down here no one else has thought of. When you add the power of God to that, anything is possible.”

Hagee explained that there are two main reasons he is initiating this project.

“First,” he said, “It is not safe right now for Christian families to go to Israel. So we thought, ‘Why not provide a fully featured, family-friendly opportunity to experience the Promised Land and everything the Bible teaches from Genesis to Revelation’?”

“Second,” Hagee explained, “This ‘Promised Land’ can serve as a back-up plan for the fulfillment of Biblical prophecy. If something happens to the nation of Israel, like Middle East peace or something, there will still be a ‘Land’ where Jesus can go when he returns.”

“Besides,” Hagee said thoughtfully, “I’ve got a lot invested in this prophecy stuff. If the politicians screw it up, we’re gonna need a ‘nation of Israel’ for God to work with.”

For the Love of Okra

Only in Wilmore. One of our neighbors down the street apparently loves okra. The only explanation I can think of for growing it along the sidewalk to the front door is that maybe they want to keep an eye on it. Oh well, perhaps they will share with their neighbors.

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